10. Making frozen veg in the microwave requires reading the directions at least 8 times (what?! At least it's vegetables?)
9. Entertaining the baby means scattering Cheerios on your dirty kitchen floor, like feeding chickens (What?! I had to distract so I could read the directions on the frozen veg)
8. When baby discovers an empty beer bottle in the recycling you are thankful for his resourcefulness in finding new toys (what's the worst case?…a few drops of beer soothes those raging gums?)
7. You spend the day at home trapped in this thought loop: "how did I get in this room?" "What am I here for?" "Did I leave the baby gate open!?!" No. "How did I get in this room?"
6. It takes a good 10 seconds for you to register that your child is speaking to you
5. You see an image on TV of an empty jail cell with a single bunk and wonder "what could I do to get in there?"
4. You spy an old Christmas chocolate (it's March) under some rotten fruit in the fruit bowl and it's devoured at lightening speed.
3. Your middle of the night lullabies, while still gentle in tone, contain more F-bombs than an episode of Jerry Springer.
2. The text from your husband saying he will be home 5 min late sends you into a rage so fierce that your revenge plan resembles something you saw once on Criminal Minds.
1. You decide driving is too dangerous in your condition, besides finding pants is also too hard
All characters and events in this list are entirely fictional, any resemblance to my entire day is completely coincidental
This is me in my pj's, bouncing an overtired baby, while reading a sleep book and typing out my sleep plan. Because when I read and write about it I get to enjoy the illusion of having complete control of the situation. At least for those precious 15 min.
Photo by Silvia Photography
Welcome to Spill It Mom! I find life with my little people so amazing, exhausting, overwhelming and hilarious that sometimes to keep my sanity I just gotta Spill It. Once upon a time I was convinced that most mothers had it all together and I was the glaring exception. Best keep this secret to myself I thought. I'll just bottle up my imperfections, keep the lid on tight and no one will ever know how much I struggle with this Mommy gig. But then I discovered something unexpected about letting all those struggles just spill out; it brings me amazing joy! Spilling it is such a relief and it allows for a fresh perspective.
When I share my messy life, my shortcomings and the crazy stuff that happens with my kids there is a vulnerability there which opens me up to making meaningful and real connections with other Moms. And that feels crazy good! Even better is when we can find a nugget or two that we can laugh about...let those endorphins loose to do their work people! And really if I don’t choose to spill it, it’s going to leak out or get knocked over anyway (and still will!). So this blog is my way of consciously choosing to open up, be honest, share the hard, have a laugh and hopefully encourage others to do the same.
I will write mostly personal observations of things that are hard but also funny. My hope is that it will be encouraging to you as you come across bits and pieces that reflect your own life. I vow to always be authentic and write from my own experience, never assuming to know what life is like for someone else.
For now I have decided to not share my children's names (and only a few pictures of their faces), which is hilarious in it's own right because it makes a wild assumption that someone is actually going to read this (Hi Mom!, Mom? Mommmmm? Oh come on, I sent simple intstructions in the email...) Anyway, I have three kids which I will refer to as kid #1, kid #2 and kid #3. This strictly reflects birth order and not personal preference because obviously the latter would get confusing every time I changed my mind. Also, one day my kids will be able to read. Sigh
My writing is done in constant motion on the iPhone in my pocket. Words get built up in my head but because of the constant demands that come with caring for three young children I only get little snip-its of time to write anything down. The majority of what I write is done waiting for the toast to pop, pulled over while baby sleeps, during a midnight breastfeed and even in the bathroom. No wait, not that last one, cause I'm never actually alone in there. Can someone please invent a shower cover for the iPhone? I could get 2 more minutes 3x a week! Can you imagine?!?!
Well, here it goes...please join in and be ready to cry/laugh (craugh?) with me!
Karen Barré is an accomplished mom of 3 that can make snacks ALL day long and still find the time to make light-sabers out of paper and duct tape. As long as the conditions are perfect. And everyone slept the night. And we have groceries in the house. Or paper. Okay, I did it once, it was a highlight.